I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Randomize
