and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
