I cockslap morals
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
