Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
