A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
