its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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