New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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