i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
