I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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