I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
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