he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
