When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
