I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Randomize
