I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
