so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
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