Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
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