oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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