My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
