I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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