How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
