i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Randomize
