Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
