i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
