i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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