you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
