You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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