we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
