it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
