i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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