you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
