I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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