if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
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