I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
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