your parents love me but you hate me
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
