Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize