Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Randomize
