I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Randomize
