Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Randomize
