maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Randomize