all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
where does the pee come out of this thing
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Randomize