You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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