apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
