What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
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