Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
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