my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
