sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
