I'll bet she douches with gravy.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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