I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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