Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
Ketchup is God's man juice
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
