if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize