No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize