I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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