Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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