its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
