Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Randomize
