with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Randomize
