i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
did you just send me my own nude
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
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