Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
