home. puking in laundry basket.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Rumble strips road head = magical
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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