Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
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