Someone shit on the floor
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize
