My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
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