I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
