I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize
