What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
