you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
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