Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I need a hoe opinion
go on
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
